Stepping Stone

I must say i'm pretty proud of myself. Today i went to NUS to hangout with Jeanna and SinYan and this other guy whose name i've momentarily forgotten=/

For the past few months, i have avoided NUS like it was some form of plague. Dodging all signs which may suggest its existence; fleeing at the mere mention of its name. I was, as Jeanna reminded, 'allergic to University'. I chose to live in false pretence and ignorance because it was the only 'short term' method to escape the pain and dread.

Everyone's opinion of my situation is vastly different but mine, unfortunately for me, causes much grieve. i'm not being pessimistic, just realistic.

All along i knew it was a short term solution. Especially when the non mention of university in any gathering is close to impossible, what with the girls current study in university; I can't be avoiding gatherings as well, that is certain. i was perhaps just waiting for the right moment- for acceptance.

I wasn't very sure that i was ready to embrace it yet but i took a risk- afraid that others would grow tired of my negativity.

Hence when the opportunity came knocking, i jumped at it in an instant. I needed to test myself. And it wasn't half as bad as i thought...thanks to Jeanna. For suggesting that we met at her school knowing my slight reluctance; for having taken me on the long tour by foot in the slight drizzle at my request. Perhaps the company and the chatting made it that much easier to accept. i had locked up the pain and grieve for so long only to find out i've lost the key. Cheers to me making a full recovery(:

oh and i fell AGAIN going down steps. what is wrong with me and stairs this year?!

Had dinner with Johnson later in the evening at JEC which is closing down for renovation in a few days time. Does it not feel that our usual haunts, where our memories linger always have to be destroyed?...GINZA now JEC. hmm strange