the beginning of yet another month.
it's a wonder how time slips past, ever so often, unnoticed.

As the first buckets of November rain continue to pour outside, i sit pondering; trying to arrive at some form of revelation as to how the last 10 months had slipped by without me achieving any tangible difference in my life. At this point, i'm pretty sure many are readying their stones to haul them at the SAF for quote-wasting two years of thier life-unquote. True to the high-flying youths of today's society; the 2years national service stint would thus, mean little in the course of their academic pursuits and careers. Yet this time, i'm left with a nagging doubt that it wasn't a lack of relevance in what i did but rather a lack of initiative in what then i could have done(but didn't) that is at fault here. Unfortunately so, since pro-activeness really isn't one of my fortes in which case a dose of the entrepreneural spirit would have been necessary which ultimately is the problem, isn't it? There's no such remedy. So what then could be a viable solution since courage and strive comes off as more inate than acquired.

At this point, it might seem this sudden bout of self-doubt is displaced but people who know will understand it stems from a deep-seated confliction which i can't seem to get over. Do I simply dive into the deep end of the pool and then kick like mad to stay afloat? Or perhaps a third party could be employed to literally nudge me in?
So many questions that need answers yet i keep digging up more questions than i answer them.

On a brighter note, the festive mood is upon us as we finally get a gleams of the finishing line. The end of ORD training brought much malice amongst us as we contrived on ways to sabotage the preceding batch of ORD personnels with 'safer and more effective' approaches towards training. A bunch of wolves draped in sheep's clothing if i may say. But then again, they're probably more deserving of such treatment than i can assert.

Two years. Just like that.
Time and tide truly waits for no man.