5months after ORD; and yet again, i ponder.

ORD spelled freedom for most, if not all of us. But it brought forth yet another aspect of life - work. For the next 8months, while we await anxiously for the forthcoming of the 'big day' we return to school and once more don our thinking caps, most would invariably have a brief interception in the world we would come to know as 'the workforce'. While most of my peers chose to dabble with a more, shall i hazard to say, 'respectable' work(i.e. teaching, administratives in banks, offices, MNCs) , I however landed myself in the service sector where dealing with ill-mannered collegues and customers seem to be the order of the day. So why exactly did I choose this path for myself? Unfortunately, I cannot seem to arrive at a satisfactory enough reply to even answer myself. Perhaps, it had something to do with self-worth. Or it could quite simply have been my sloth getting the better of me. In any case, I am now bounded by contract which I fear to break in view of undue criticism. Somehow, I got myself into a situation which I detest more than any the Army had presented me. Funny how things work out. BUT...
In the spirit of triump through adversity, I shall persevere!
In the spirit of optimism, I shall learn something out of this horrible experience.
And as a prelude, this is what I have learnt about myself;

I, for the love of God, absolutely CANNOT multi-task. It is simply not an available function in my brain. The system is pathologically flawed!! I cannot do anything about it. When orders are coming in left, right and center, the only thing I can do is block out the wayward commands and focus solely on the one directly in front to keep from getting overwhelmed. The situation is THAT dire. And perhaps its for the same reason I cannot play sports like soccer and basketball where being aware of your surroundings is a requirement while you dribble away with the ball. Often, I find myself too engrossed in managing the ball I forget that people are closing in, both opponents and teammates. The next thing I know, the ball goes missing. If I am not made to multi-task then who am I to debase that. I rest my case.

I abhor the accusing finger directed at me. In other words, I hate to be wrong. Though to err is only human, I would be the first to graciously admit that I make mistakes on a regular basis. At times I find myself rising in self-indignation (my temper momentarily uncontrollable) to the accusations, more so if they were groundless ones. I would then proceed to dish out excuses(to myself) to soothe my guilt. But today, it occurred to me the importance of humility in accepting one's shortcomings. Learning is the gaining of wisdom through understanding. Only then can we set the stage for improving. That is not to say it is an easy feat since understanding does not necessarily equate improving(though it definitely sets a good foundation for other things to be built upon it). Because we do not live in a vacuum, so many other factors have to be brought into consideration; one's perseverance and negative externalities to name a few. But that is a whole different story unto itself and I reckon I've managed to bore most by now. So I shall spare most the pain of hearing me regurgitate yet another point of mine.
In the end, the jury is still out on this case. We can only wait and see.

Again, these are just my two pennies worth. You are welcome to disagree.